


Vision Quest

by Bloodyscrollox



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: F/F, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-12 04:50:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3344237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bloodyscrollox/pseuds/Bloodyscrollox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arin drags the guys out to the woods for a crystal-charging good time. Suzy and Holly decide to entertain themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vision Quest

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this Craigslist ad: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sdo/2370048082.html

‘You know, I haven’t been camping since I was a kid.’ Dan remarked, ducking under a branch as the group hiked their way through the underbrush. ‘Dad always used to take me because he thought it would be good bonding time, but then we’d set up and he’d immediately remember that he  _hated_  camping.’

‘Isn’t this far enough?’ Ross moaned from the back of the group. He’d been dragging his feet since they got out of the car, and despite carrying the least amount of camping equipment, was significantly the slowest.

‘A bit further.’ Arin said, not breaking his stride.

‘Are we going somewhere in particular?’ Dan asked.

‘Just keep walking, I’ll tell you when we’re there.’

Suzy was trudging along by Danny’s right side, and he could just hear her mutter something about  _‘_ _bullshit, I could be home trying out those new Lush products, why am I doing this-’_

Distracted by her furious monologue, Danny almost walked into Arin’s back. Ahead of him, a beautiful, wide clearing had appeared, and in the centre, a ring of stones and ash surrounded by four large fallen logs.

‘Finally!’ Danny exclaimed, echoed somewhat less enthusiastically by Suzy.

‘Ok, everyone set up tents. Suzy and I get the big one, Dan and Barry, you get the two-man tent, and Ross, you get the kid’s tent. It’s all we could find.’ He added, in reply to Ross’ indignant squawk.

‘Hey, why do you get the big-’ Dan was swiftly cut off by Suzy’s piercing glare. ‘Ah, very good point.’

‘And because it’s biggest, everyone has to help put it up.’ Arin announced.

‘What? Why-’

‘ _Dan_ ,’ Suzy hissed. ‘The quicker you put it up, the quicker I can crawl in and go to sleep and go home in the morning.’

Dan huffed. ‘This is bullshit and you know it, Arin.’

‘Duly noted. Get to work.’ Arin replied.

~

40 minutes later, there was one decently put up tent, one actually pretty sturdy tent (thanks to Barry), and Ross’  _My Little Pony_  tent, which was mostly held up by willpower.

‘Good work, gang.’ Arin praised, as Danny returned to the campsite with an armful of kindling. ‘Now-’ here, Arin reached into his backpack and pulled out a small, velvety drawstring bag. ‘Everyone reach in and take a necklace.’

‘A necklace?’ Danny questioned. ‘What-’ He frowned as Ross, who had stepped forward, pulled out a crystal pendant on a piece of knotted cord. He snatched it from Ross, and examined it, holding it up to his face. ‘Is this…?

‘Is that a fucking JO crystal?’ asked Ross. There was a moment of silence as everyone stared at Arin in horror.

Barry shook his head. ‘I knew it.’ he said quietly, breaking the silence.

Danny whirled around. ‘Arin, what the  _fuck_? I’m not doing creepy sex stuff in the forest with you.’

‘This is not a sex thing!’ Arin protested. ‘This is strictly about manhood.’

‘Yeah, if by “manhood”, you mean “our dicks”’

‘Daniel! I have had  _enough_  of your bad attitude! This is a very spiritual experience, you should feel honored I asked you to share it with me.’

Suzy swiftly picked up her overnight bag, unzipped the largest tent and crawled inside.

Arin held up his hands in defense, ‘Look, I know it started out as a joke, but… there are some very convincing arguments on the forums.’

‘There are forums?’ Danny yelled, incredulous.

‘Yes,  _Dan_! About the healing powers of the crystals, and-’

‘And what? We’re going to film an episode of Jackoff Grumps? The fans would  _love_ that!’

‘Hey, some of them, probably!’ Arin replied.

‘Actually,’ Barry piped up, ‘It would be Steam Rolled, because Ross and I are here.’

‘Schween Rolled.’ Ross supplied.

‘Ross! Stop!’

‘Look, it’s a little out of our comfort zone, but I think it will be a nice bonding experience. We’ll have a nice little campout, start a fire, tell some stories. And then we’ll try out the crystals.’

‘Yeah, nothing gay about that.’ Dan said dryly.

‘It’s not gay! It’s- it’s men! Men being guys. What’s better than that?’

‘I’m not fucking doing this.’ Danny said resolutely, flinging the crystal back to Arin. Arin smiled defiantly, catching the necklace and pulling it over his head.

‘Well, no one’s leaving until you do.’ he replied, tossing the bag to Barry. ‘Because I have the car keys. Now,’ he said, lifting the cooler Barry had lugged from the car. ‘Grab a beer and pussy up.’

~

Several hours later, Suzy looked up from her book at a rustling coming from the door of her tent. The tent shuddered as someone tugged at the zipper, before there was a high-pitched  _zziiip_  and Holly’s head stuck through the opening.

‘Hey there.’ Holly said, grinning.

Suzy squealed. ‘Holly! What are you doing here?’

‘I got your text; I couldn’t leave you alone to fend for yourself while our idiot husbands and their idiot friends jacked off in the middle of the woods.’ Holly started to fiddle with the rest of the zipper, struggling to get it open.

‘Careful with that; Ross put it up so he didn’t have to find firewood, so it’s pretty flimsy. How did you find us?’

‘I Kojacked Ross’ phone; some iPhone app, it led me right to you guys.’ With one last tug, the zipper suddenly opened, and Holly slithered into the tent, shuffling around to yank off her boots. ‘So, JO crystal summer camp?’

Suzy rolled her eyes and let out a small, disgusted noise. ‘Our first overnight trip for  _months_ , in a romantic, isolated location, and he decides to jerk off with his coworkers. I’m married to a horny child.’

‘I know that feeling.’ Holly replied, crawling into the main chamber of the tent. ‘Fuck me, it’s freezing.’

In response, Suzy shuffled over, flipping the blankets so Holly could slip into the bed.

‘You don’t wanna get out of here?’

‘With all my being.’ Suzy remarked dryly, ‘but the children have been drinking since 5 o’clock, and they’re gonna need a ride home in the morning.’

Holly exhaled, shooting Suzy a sympathetic look as she slid under the covers. ‘That’s shitty.’

‘Yup. Arin must have planned on me playing designated driver while he hosted his circlejerk jamboree.’

‘What an asshole.’ Holly found herself pressed up against the warm heat of Suzy’s body, insulated by the thick blankets. ‘So, what now?’

‘I’m sorry you got dragged all the way out here.’

‘It’s fine! It’s like a real-life adventure. Except stupider.’ She shuffled closer to Suzy, snuggling into her side. ‘I’m happy to see you, though.’

‘Try being stuck in a tent for 3 hours while your husband tries to drink up the courage to jack off in front of his friends.’ Suzy said, slinging her arm around Holly’s shoulders. ‘I’m  _ecstatic_  to see you.’

~

As much as Dan loved the pants-optional dress code of his current employment, being in boxers wasn’t always the best state to be in around your bros. Especially with all the discussions about sex that arose from their various playthroughs. It wasn’t a  _huge_ problem (pun  _definitely_  not intended), but every now and then those conversations would affect him, and he’d have to pray that Arin or Ross didn’t look up from their controller or keyboard before he got himself under control.

But now here he was, half-chub in the middle of the woods while Ross described the first time he ate pussy in excruciating detail.

‘You can’t use teeth Ross, don’t be stupid!’

‘I did! I used my teeth and she fucking loved it, mate.’

‘You’re a fucking liar.’

Admittedly, Arin’s angry, drunken outbursts were helping his situation somewhat. The session was backfiring on Arin, and as he got drunker he got more bitter about the fact that he’d only ever had sex with his wife, the wife who was currently in a tent 20 feet away from their campfire, which meant he kind of sucked at reliving his sexual exploits. Arin’s impotent rage was very entertaining, and distracted Danny from the fact that he was dangerously close to getting a full semi in front of a bunch of dudes.

‘Trust me.’ Ross smirked, putting as much smug emphasis into his tone as he could manage, while Barry snickered into his lap across the fire. ‘I _know_  what works. I’ve tried it on a  _lot_  of different girls.’ Arin was practically frothing at the mouth.

‘Alright! Fuckin- fuck! Everyone get out your crystals!’

There was a collective groan from the group. ‘Come on, man.’ Danny pleaded.

‘No! Shut up, we’re doing this!’

‘This feels so weird, man.’

‘Get your fucking dick out and stop bitching.’ Arin snapped, reaching into his jacket to pull out the necklace. ‘Ok, we need to get some positive energy, so close your eyes and think happy thoughts.’

‘I’m not really feeling it.’ Barry mumbled, his hands wringing together in his lap.

‘Barry! Work with me here.’

‘I can’t get hard when I can hear a bunch of guys jacking off.’

‘Yeah, me neither.’ Ross piped up.

Arin sighed loudly. ‘Ok, everyone  _stay there_. I have a couple of earplugs in the tent.’

‘Earplugs don’t work for me, I can hear through them.’ Barry protested.

‘Barry! I’ll get your damn iPod, Jesus Christ.’

There was an uncomfortable silence as the guys watched Arin stalk away, stomping his feet as he stepped over sticks and tent pegs.

‘We’re not actually going to do it, are we?’ Danny said quietly.

‘I dunno. I kind of wanna see the crystals glow.’ Ross replied.

‘They’re not gonna- God _dammit_ , Ross.’

~

Meanwhile, the mood in Suzy’s tent had shifted somewhat. Complaining about their husbands had turned into esteem-boosting compliments, which had quickly turned from Holly complimenting Suzy’s hair to Suzy meekly admitting she’d always been admiring of Holly’s boobs. This had become an experimental groping session, and by the time Arin approached the tent there was some pretty intense making out steaming up the tent.

Holly paused, pulling her head back slightly, meeting some resistance as Suzy kept her bottom lip clamped between her teeth.

‘Did you hear that?’ she asked, slightly garbled without the use of her bottom lip.

Suzy released her, listening herself. ‘Oh shit, someone’s coming.’

‘I’m not supposed to be here!’ Holly exclaimed.

‘Hide!’

Holly dove back under the blankets, fitting herself into the hollow fort between Suzy’s steepled legs. A few seconds later, Arin’s head and torso appeared through the opening.

‘Why is this open?’

‘I got hot.’ Suzy said quickly.

Arin peered doubtfully at her through the dim light. ‘You  _do_ look a little flushed, I guess.’ he said, finally.

‘How’s the circlejerk coming along?’ Suzy asked, eager to hurry Arin’s visit along.

‘It’s not-’ Arin spat out, before composing himself and trying again with forced calmness. ‘It’s not a circlejerk, honey, it’s a JO sesh. We’re charging our crystals. It’s very spiritual.’

‘Of course, baby.’

‘Anyway, I need those earplugs.’

‘In the-’ Suzy cut herself off quickly as she felt Holly’s soft lips press against her inner thigh. She gave herself a moment before starting again, her voice breaking slightly at the start of her sentence. ‘In the front pocket of your backpack, baby.’

Arin lurched forward, tumbling through the tent door and wrestling with his backpack. Holly was still pressing kisses along her inner thighs, getting gradually closer and closer to her panties, which were starting to get a little damp. As she watched Arin dig through his bag, Holly pressed a teasing finger over her panties, teasing her covered slit. Suzy swallowed hard, willing herself not to make a noise.

‘Where  _are_  they?’ Arin hissed, still rummaging. Just then, Holly upped the stakes, pressing her hot mouth over the cotton of Suzy’s panties. Suzy couldn’t resist, and let out a squeak, clapping a hand over her mouth.

‘Aha!’ Arin yelled. ‘Found you!’ Suzy felt Holly jump between her legs, fearing she’d been found out. But Arin held up the open package of ear plugs, emptying them out onto his hands. ‘Wait… why are there only two pairs? We had at least three, the last time I checked.’

‘You used a pair as nipples when you were playing with my bra the other day.’ Suzy answered slowly, trying to keep her voice steady while Holly licked over her underwear, stifling a laugh as she felt Holly snicker at Arin’s words.

‘Oh, yeah. Don’t… don’t tell the guys about that.’

‘Of course, baby. Spousal privileges, remember.’

‘Spousal privileges.’ Arin repeated, smiling fondly as he crawled over to kiss her on the lips. Unfortunately for Holly, Arin’s knee clocked her in the back of the head as he clumsily made his way over to Suzy. Fortunately for Suzy, this meant Holly faceplanted right into her crotch.

‘Shit, what am I gonna use for ear plugs now?’ Suzy nodded along sympathetically, pressing her lips together and hoping that the humming sound she was making sounded more like a thinking noise than a moan. Arin frowned, then, struck with inspiration, reached towards Suzy’s toiletry bag.

‘Would it be weird if I used-’ Suzy, realising where Arin’s train of thought was going, interrupted.

‘Arin! Jesus, just… use my cotton balls and get out, please! I’m trying to read.’ Arin frowned and looked into the corner of the tent. Suzy followed his gaze to the crumpled paperback lying on the floor, pages spread and bent. ‘See what you did?’ Suzy muttered disapprovingly.

Sheepishly, Arin grabbed the bag of cotton balls and slithered out of the tent, zipping it up behind him.

Suzy waited until Arin’s crackling footsteps faded, then let out a rush of air in a  _whoosh_  through her lips. ‘Oh my God,  _finally_.’ Suzy tapped at the lump of Holly’s head under the blankets. ‘You can come out now.’

Holly, however, intended to do no such thing, and voiced her protest by pushing the lace gusset of Suzy’s panties aside and plunging her tongue into the wet heat it had been hiding.

~

After a quick detour to Barry and Dan’s tent, Arin returned to the campfire to find Barry scrambling through the pockets of the jacket Arin had left on the log.

‘Looking for these?’ Arin asked, fishing the car keys out of his jeans and jangling them as Barry’s face fell. ‘Too bad, assholes. You’re stuck here until we all go on a sexy crystal vision quest.’

‘I don’t see why we can’t just go watch porn or something in your nice, warm, private house.’ Danny grumbled.

‘Uh, I’m not watching porn with my friends.’ Ross interjected. ‘That’s like, _really_ gay.’

‘You’re right, Ross. What could be gayer than watching a female porn star go to town on herself?’ Danny drawled, ‘Nope, better affirm our heterosexuality by jacking off with a bunch of dudes in the forest.’

‘It’s about nature, Dan. I’ve been reading up on it, apparently a group of guys summoned bears once, just by the pure force of their masculine energy.’

‘Great!’ Dan exclaimed. ‘Can’t wait to have to explain to my dad that my dick got chewed off by a bear because me and all my friends were jacking it in the woods.’

‘I’m brushing off your negativity, Dan.’ Arin replied, flinging the bag of cotton balls at him. ‘I’m reaching a truly spiritual place and I invite you all to join me.’

‘Cotton balls?’

‘To block out the noise.’

‘Arin, cotton balls aren’t gonna do shit.’

‘Use a lot of them.’

‘Arin this is  _bullshit_ -’ Danny stopped abruptly and scowled as Arin pushed the ear plugs into his ears, a shit-eating grin on his face. Turning his back on Danny, Arin went over to Barry and passed him his iPod, then gave the other set of plugs to Ross. Furious, Dan set to pushing the cotton wool into his ear canal.

‘There, how’s that?’ Arin asked, his voice slightly muffled but by no means quieter.

‘Doesn’t fucking work, as expected.’ Danny snapped. Arin frowned, leaning forward and cupping his hand to his ear. ‘Oh, you’re a fucking _asshole_ , dude.’ Dan said. Arin shrugged, gesturing that he couldn’t hear, before taking his seat and waving for everyone’s reluctant attention.

Smugly, Arin took the opportunity of having the group’s eyes on him to whip off his jeans, flinging them in the direction of the tent as everyone groaned and shielded their gaze.

‘Ok, no looking at each other’s dicks.’ Arin yelled, loud enough for Ross and Barry to hear and entirely  _too_  loud for Dan. ‘And if your crystal starts to glow or you start having visions, put your hand up.’ Dan shot one last panicked glance to Barry, whose face was one of hopeless resignation.

‘God, fucking… fine. Fine!’ Dan muttered to himself, spitting into his palm, sticking it into his pants and loosely grasping his flaccid dick. He squeezed his eyes shut, and tried to think sexy thoughts.

Girls. Hot girls. Hot girls… in stockings. Thigh-high stockings! Oh god, that sexy TA from when he was in college. She used to wear blue stockings with that hot black minidress. Ok, ok. So it’s just her and Danny, in college. In the lecture hall! But it’s empty. Danny’s sitting in the seats… and she’s on the stage. And she’s dancing. Oh shit, that’s hot. Danny was a little less flaccid now, his wrist just starting to work, stroking himself loosely. She’s climbing up on the podium, legs dangling over the side. She opens them…

And suddenly all Danny could hear was the soft wet slaps of his friends jacking off.

‘Augh! Oh God!’ Danny ripped his hand away from his dick, revolted. A piece of bark hit him in the head, and he looked over to see Arin pointing at his crotch, his own bulging rhythmically. Danny shot him a pleading, desperate look, but Arin narrowed his eyes, resolute. Cringing, Dan put his hand back.

Got to block out the noise. Anything but the soft, fleshy thumping. He thought hard. His TA fantasy had dissolved, all he could see now was Ross kneeling on the podium, jacking his dick with his knees spread wide. Got to get back to sexy thoughts.

He thought of girls again. Busty, plump-lipped porn stars moaning and gasping. Yeah, that worked. He focused on the sound. For a moment, it was almost as if he could hear it, and it sent a jolt to his dick. Go with it, he thought. Ride the sensation. God, there it was again. Was it happening? Was he having an erotic vision quest? Suddenly, his fantasy shifted, and the faceless man was replaced with… another woman. Oh, he could definitely work with that. He could hear both of them, grunting, gasping. Could see them touching each other, kissing and petting with soft, playful touches that grew in intensity.

One of them let out a particularly loud moan, so loud it almost felt like it was in his vicinity rather than in his head. And he could have swore it sounded like… Suzy? The faces on the lesbians in his head started to morph, and  _oh no_. They’d turned into Suzy, and  _Holly_. This was really bad. Here he was, jacking off in the forest, fantasising about his best friends’ wives going to town on each other, while they jacked off only a few meters away. What would Suzy say if she knew what he was  _oh my God that’s so hot, it’s so_ _hot_. He could hear them, could see the scene in his mind so vividly. The moaning peaked to a crescendo, then subsided. And as the disturbingly realistic soundscape ebbed away, Danny’s guilt rose up inside him like a wave. His eyes flicked open, suddenly desperate to banish the fantasy from behind his eyes.

And then he saw it.

It was Suzy. Oh God, Suzy had heard him fantasising about her and had come to chastise him. She was probably psychic like that. But suddenly, out of the tent popped up- Holly? But that was ridiculous, why would Holly be here? She was back home, babysitting hers and Ross’ mini menagerie. But as Suzy pulled Holly into a passionate kiss, it hit Danny like a train.

_Arin was right about the crystals._

He was having a bonafide vision, as if with his own eyes. Arin had been right and it had backfired horribly, making him see visions of the man’s own  _wife_. He looked down at his crystal, to see if it was glowing. He frowned, concentrating, and he could swear it was slightly luminescent. His head snapped up, and Suzy and Holly were gone, he was back to being mostly flaccid and Arin, Barry and Ross were staring at him.

‘Well?’ Arin demanded. ‘Did you see anything? Dan?’

‘Nope, nothing.’ Danny replied hoarsely, pulling out his hand and wiping it on his jeans. Gross. His eyes flicked from Arin to Ross, looking for a sign on either of their faces that he might have given some sort of sign about his shameful fantasy while he was having his vision. But there was nothing on their faces but mortification and regret. Danny relaxed.

After an awkward twenty minutes of not being able to meet anyone’s eye while they cleaned up the campfire, they all trudged back to the car to collect their bags. Stuck to the windshield was a post-it, which Arin ripped off and read aloud.

‘ _See you tomorrow, buttheads. We took the keys_.’ Secretly, Dan was relieved. He wasn’t sure how he could have slept, knowing that Suzy was only a few meters away, separated only by the thin canvas of the tents. This would give him the night to compartmentalise, and face Arin, Ross and Suzy in the morning with a conscience that was, if not clear, at least stuffed into the deepest recesses of Dan’s mind.

‘Wait.’ said Arin. ‘Who’s “we”?’

~

As Holly’s car zoomed down the highway, they launched into the chorus of  _I Love Rock n’ Roll_  at the top of their voices, Suzy reclined in the passenger seat with her feet on the dashboard as the wind from the open window whipped through her hair.

‘So, how about,’ Holly shouted over the music as the song slipped into its second verse. ‘we get back to your place, run a bath, put in a movie, and go and collect the children in the morning?’

‘Sounds perfect.’ Suzy yelled back. ‘As long as you teach me how you did that thing with your tongue.’


End file.
